Well apparently, when that most loved, most important person to us has cancer, no other thing in life matters that much anymore.
If you fear something enough, you can make it happen – Sylvia Plath, the movie
…like kejatohan cicak di rumah orang saking parnonya liat banyak cicak berkeliaran
Céline: Did you ever keep a journal when you were a kid?
Jesse: Um, yeah…On and off, I guess.
Céline: It’s funny, I read a…one of mine from ’83, the other day.
Céline: And, what really surprised me, is that I was feeling with life, the same way am now. I was much more hopeful and naive, but the core, and the way I was feeling things, is exactly the same. It made me realize I haven’t changed much at all.
Jesse: Yeah, I don’t think anybody does; people don’t want to admit it, but it’s like we just…we have these innate set points.
Jesse: You know, it’s like…nothing much that happens to us changes our disposition.
Exactly what I think right now and it kinda sucks
Probably such warning has never existed in ancient era, or maybe it remains nonexistent to some ignorant dumbasses until present days:
Your failed upbringing is none of your children’s fucking business. It’s not their problem, and you should have resolved all your issues WAY before even thinking about copulating and procreating in the first place.
Well since we can’t change people, none should (want to) change us either.
It’s been over a year, since I saw you sitting there alone. I approached to see if we clicked. We seem to fit well together. I was tempted, though I knew I didn’t need you that much. Not with the amount of price that must be paid. Is it worth it? Should I just take this chance?
I hesitated, I contemplated. I walked away, headed to the opposite direction.
Plenty others distracted me, for a moment I had forgotten about you completely.
But soon the image of you came back to haunt my mind. I think we can get along just fine. And maybe the benefit would outweigh the cost. Maybe I should just say yes without listening to all these doubts.
“You really should think clearly and not act on your impulses”, a voice inside my head reminded.
“There is nothing to lose, short-term happiness is still happiness,” my heart argued.
The head won, as it usually does, initially. I left you, convincing myself that this is how things should end between us.
“Get over it, it’s not a big deal.” I said to myself.
But I couldn’t sleep that night. There a tiny feeling of regret crawling up my chest. A tad bit of guilt for ignoring that happenstance. A moment where destiny decides that we should meet.
The next day I knew what I should do. Half-running, I rushed to get to you again. Apologizing for abandoning you the other day, for not listening to my heart and worried too much about what was right.
But as I got back to your place, you were nowhere to be found. I asked and questioned everyone, and they said you were picked up by someone. I was left there with a big hole in my heart and a massive remorse. I looked around, none were even comparable to you.
You may be not that perfect, but I knew there was something about us that could have worked. So what if we failed eventually? The biggest mistake was us not bother trying; and me not brave enough to take any risk. I ran away from my heart’s desire. And so you’re gone and found another lover.
It’s been 374 days. We could have spent those days together. But I do hope for your happiness, and maybe one day fate will lead me to something as special as what I had with you.