I guess I have been a thinker my whole life. I remember my mom telling me when I was still little: “Stop thinking too much, you’re starting to frown again.” Now that the habit seems to be permanent, sometimes it does bother my life in some way.
Imagine how tiring it is when your mind is busy wandering and contemplating about something or someone, while they’re absolutely clueless and careless about whether you even care or not. You have questions, guesses, and theories, you plan ideas, solutions, you think hard about the way out, but somehow things are only going hectic inside your head. And you still need help and support from others to obtain them. But nobody knows, so how can anybody care?
It’s one thing when they are innocently clueless. They had no idea before, but at least try to understand and do something after you explained your thoughts and expectations. But some just remain thoughtless, some just never want to change, some just refuse to use their so-called brain, even for the tiniest bit of effort.
And then there’s my mom again, saying “We can’t change people. And never, EVER, expect people to change.” Which is true and totally acceptable, only then I can’t help having sudden frustration, knowing that the only way out is to accept and live with it. Because even though people do change, we only change by choice. It has to be our decision. Not upon someone else’s request or demand.
And I never learn my lesson, I keep on having expectations on others again. Thinking too much again. Getting upset and disappointed again. But sometimes I wonder, is it that wrong to have expectations? Aren’t humans all about hopes and expectations? And when other individuals are involved, of course things get even more complicated and disappointing.
We give them excuses, just so we can accept and live a more peaceful life a bit. But in my case, it only helps to analogize things this way:
One thing to remember is not to expect a duck to fly. Ducks don’t fly. Ducks never fly. Ducks are incapable of flying.
You can train them, dedicate your soul to try and make them fly. You put all your trust on them, wanting to believe that someday you can turn your dream into reality. You may get tired, wanting to strangle the duck to death for not being able to fly, but the duck stays on the ground. Quacking cluelessly why you’re so angry at them.
And in the end, you’ll eventually learn that you’ve been wasting your life and energy on something impossible. In the end, you’ll just have to live with the fact that… well, ducks just don’t fly.
This is actually an answer to a friend’s question recently. “With your work now, there must be so many interesting stories to tell. So why you never write anymore?”
Well my friend, sometimes we want something so bad that God test us by giving it in large portions. Planning to be learning while earning, I am now simply paying the cost. 😐
That’s all for now.
*Actually some duck species do fly on special occasions. But let’s pretend that we don’t know. This term fits the best anyway hehe…