I pack my case. I check my face.
I look a little bit older.
I look a little bit colder.
With one deep breath, and one big step, I move a little bit closer.
I move a little bit closer.
For reasons unknown.
I caught my stride.
I flew and flied.
I know if destiny’s kind, I’ve got the rest of my mind.
But my heart, it don’t beat, it don’t beat the way it used to.
And my eyes, they don’t see you no more.
And my lips, they don’t kiss, they dont kiss the way they used to, and my eyes don’t recognize you no more.
The Killers – For Reasons Unknown
I used to refuse the idea of having a “crisis” at the peak of our lives. I mean, puberty? Okay, we get confused not knowing what the hell is going on with our body, having our hormones raging for the very first time. Menopause? Definite hell, having our ovary becoming dysfunctional without us having any power to stop or delay. Feelings of confusion, uselessness, helplessness, doubts, loneliness… As you can tell, those are not restricted to hormonal effects only. Socially and psychologically speaking, we do undergo a boat-rocking experience starting at the age of 20-something of our lives.
Maybe what I object is the term “crisis”. Why don’t they use a much friendlier word, such as “syndrome”, or “stage”, or “phase”, or “condition”? Wouldn’t that make everyone feel more lighthearted in dealing with it? But hell no, we just have to overdramatize things. So a crisis it is.
There are numbers of articles writing about it, but this is how I see it (how weird, just as soon as I deny it, this “crisis” slaps me harder than any bitch could):
1. You start to understand that most things which came out of the blue will go straight back into it, and stay there.
2. You have a mental picture of how you want your life to be, but have doubts here and there whether that is really what you want.
3. You miss your friends, because somehow everyone you used to be close to, start having lives that no longer involve you.
4. You lose interest in online social networking, realizing that there is really nothing to prove there.
5. You love your job, then you wonder whether it is really time to settle.
6. You hate your job, but can’t seem to find any solution that can be done right here right now.
7. You love your partner, but doubt whether it’s the best decision to stay with them till death do you apart.
8. You start new relationships, questioning if you will be just wasting your time on the wrong one, again.
9. You wonder when and where you will find “the one”, and can’t wait to finally do.
10. You start to realize how important saving is.
11. You don’t feel too sad or upset anymore when people disappoint you.
12. You realize that your problems have grown bigger and heavier, only this time you are well-prepared to deal with them. And they seem small.
13. You want to escape to an isolated island, or mountain, just to find peace of mind.
14. You blog again (due to number 4), only this time you try to use words more wisely.
15. You see younger generations, and wonder: how worse can the next-generations-to-come be? (Or is it just me?)
16. You understand that those loved-ones who are always there for you, will have nothing to do with what you really need to do. And you will execute life on your own no matter what.
17. You reminisce past moments in life: everything that happened, everyone that came and went, and smile that they did.
All in all, everyone goes and went through this. It’s not a crisis, it’s just a phase we all go through.
And as I was doing number 17, I found this on the first page of my thesis (yes, I reread it with pride)…
You shall certainly travel from stage to stage (in this life and in the Hereafter).
~Al-Inshiqaq : 19
It is already written in the Holy Quran that nothing lasts, and this too shall pass.
So, why not have a happy quarter-life?