I have been questioning the monogamy of human being for so long. Not that I’m a victim of a polygamous family or anything, but there are just so many things around me that often leads to that one question:
“Are humans monogamous creatures after all?”
I once took the Animal Behavior class back in university. It’s interesting that knowing animal behavior can actually give better knowledge and understanding about our OWN behavior in everyday life. One of my favorite subjects – obviously – is the mating system.
Apparently male species get more advantages by doing a polygynous mating system, while females get more advantages by practicing polyandry. The thing with these creatures is, they do it all for the sake of wider genetic inheritance or better parental care. The males will have benefits when inseminating multiple females where their genetic codes are more widely inherited, while females will have better care for the children since there is more than 1 male protecting her and her children.
Now what happens in humans is quite different since we are one of those rare creatures who have sex just to gain pleasure. We don’t really think about gene flows or child nursing that much when we decide to have multiple partners or when we decide to cheat. It’s all about pleasure, fun, satisfaction. Having more than one partner will certainly keep us happy, flexible, and unattached wouldn’t it? That way we’ll always be assured that somebody is there for us. If not one, then there’s the other(s).
One of my favorite Indonesian authors, Dewi Lestari, once wrote on her book, Filosofi Kopi.
Jika kau ingin satu, maka jangan ambil dua. Karena satu menggenapkan, tapi dua melenyapkan.
The translation would be something like:
If you want one, then don’t take two. Because one completes, while two vanishes.
I had always been able to relate to those words. But never as much as now. And now I have gained a new belief about humans who decide to be “faithful” to many partners. Those who feel superior thinking they can conquer more than one while others may have none. Those people, they need to realize that having two doesn’t make them own more. Keeping two is rather a way of undervaluing themselves, hurting others, and leaving themselves with absolute emptiness. Absolutely nothing. And there’s not even genetic benefits nor better child nurturing in this case.
So when you decide to be a so-called alpha male, or wanna be adored as a queen bee, make sure that you’re strong enough to make it on your own. Cos in the end, owning two will do nothing but vanishes everything.