another goodbye

My friend shouldn’t have castrated Bonita knowing she’s too small and weak.
I shouldn’t have given Bonita to be castrated by my (future vet) friend.
I should have checked if Bonita was healthy enough and brought her to a real vet instead.
My parents shouldn’t have pushed us to get rid of our 9 cats.

But now everything’s too late and Bonita is dying somewhere in Bogor and I’m not able to see her and be there with her.
I’m not able to touch or cuddle her at her last moments in life.
I can only regret and cry and pray that she can still recover and come home healthy again. That she can play with her brother and children again, that she can still be our cute tiny cat and be part of our family again. Catching mice again, running away from home again, drinking my chocolate milk again.
I miss her so much and I hate myself for being such an idiot.
God please protect her and let her heal from the pain. God please don’t let her suffer for too long. God please let me see her again, even if it’s for the last time.

I hope my dad’s happy now that my pets are dying one by one.

3 thoughts on “another goodbye

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