“Oooh peacock feather earrings! Look how gorgeous they are!”
Seller: “Yeah, well, they are genuine feather…”
Response 1: “What? That’s so cool! And it’s not even expensive!”
Response 2: “WHAT?! You sick murderer! And you value their lives with such low price!”
**
Why it’s that self conflict created for the sake of the thrill.
The image of a male peacock holocaust where they get plucked to death was just too horrifying that I passed on buying them. But then I can’t stop thinking about those earrings that I had to do some very important research.
Apparently, “every year, toward the end of summer, peacocks finish shaking their tail feathers, and their stunning plumage gradually falls off”(source).
“These feathers are shed annually during the molt and gathered as a valuable “crop” in many countries through its range”(source).
Hm… the concept of using male’s “dignity tool” to attract females as accessories really is intriguing. I just hope that that really is how they obtain so many pairs of them in exact same sizes…
These fellas really do understand chicks don’t they? Shiny things confuse us! 
Go get’em boys!
Control yourself, take only what you need from it.
MGMT – Kids
her: lo percaya gak gw udah gak perawan? me: Maksudnyeeeeeee??? her: Yaa..gitu. me: Sama siapa? her: Sm ***** her: Waktu itu me: Diem lo her: Lo gak percaya ya? me: Hymen lo? me: Apaan sih lo her: Ya terserah lo sih me: Apaan sih lo! her: gw kan cuma bilang. Krn gw blm cerita me: Ga lucu her: Loh apa sih? her: Jadi gmana ya me: Kapan?yg dulu lo nelfon gw dikamar? me: Atau yg terakhir ini? her: Iya her: Yg di kamar her: hahaa sebelum lo marah, its april mop baby!!! me: SETANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
**
That was a stupid YM conversation between me and my stupid best friend. She tricked me on April Fool’s Day saying she’s lost her virginity to someone who is not Mr. Right in any way, observed from any angle (okay, hot bod, but that’s it *wipes drool*). Now that I think about it, it was so stupid and naive of me to have believed in such a lie. But blame “QLC” for making her bring up all the “having sex and losing virginity” subject NONSTOP.. It just felt so possible that time -_-
Later on she asked, “What would you do if it were true, that I had lost my virginity to him that night?”
I thought for a while. What would I do? Should I be doing anything? It’s her life, her hymen she’s messing around with, why should it have anything to do with me, even if I am one of her closest and best friends?
“Well, I’d feel sorry for you, and be thankful that it didn’t happen to me.”
Sounds mean and heartless maybe. But if that were the question, then that is exactly what I would do. Another story if the question was: “What would you do if I went into deep depression and self hatred afterwards?”
If so, I’d give a more sympathetic answer, such as: “Well, I’d feel sorry for you, and be thankful that it didn’t happen to me… But I’ll be available 24/7 in case you need me!” *hugs2 kiss2*
We don’t live long enough to experience ALL the mistakes in life. So we learn from other’s wrong steps, their misfortunes, their failures. I guess that’s why we constantly need our friends, other people around us. One of the reasons is to learn from them, and share each other’s success and stupidity.
I surely have done some intentional mistakes in life. Irrational and stupid ones. Those dearest ones tried to remind me but I kept ignoring, saying: I know this is not right, but I just have to do it anyway, and maybe I can learn from it.
Now when I tell them: ”Okay, I’ve had enough. No more suicidal plans in the name of earning more experiences“, some raise their eyebrows: ”Are you sure you’ve had enough? At this age?”
Maybe I’m not yet completely old and wise (hey, aren’t that supposed to be our grandparents sitting on rocking chairs telling us stories from their youth??)… but looking at all this emo, dramatic, volatile trend…
You are the last drink I never should drunk.
You are the body hidden in the trunk.
You are the habit I can’t seem to kick.
You are my secrets on the front page every week.
You are the car I never should have bought.
You are the train I never should have caught.
You are the cut that makes me hide my face.
You are the party that makes me feel my age.
Like a car crash I can see but I just can’t avoid.
Like a plane I’ve been told I never should board.
Like a film that’s so bad but I’ve gotta stay til the end…
Pulp – Like A Friend
…I hope I truly have had enough. Never again. No more of those stupid drinks, bodies, habits, secrets, cars, trains, cuts, or parties. Amin.
Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing. What you feel only matters to you. It’s what you do to the people you say you love, that’s what matters. It’s the only thing that counts.
-The Last Kiss
**
People of Indonesia – Indonesian youngsters in particular, many are being skeptical watching this Indonesia Unite movement. They say that this is just temporary, and that it does not mean anything that we change our avatars into red and white, become a fan of a facebook page, et cetera et cetera…
Personally, I love seeing our country coming together into one like this. Cynics may say “Blah, what’s the point?”
But I say, if you love something, and you support (or fight against) something, then it’s good to let people know. But this is only a very tiny step, a baby step, that frankly, could mean nothing after all.
Imagine having someone who claims that they love you so much. You believe in their words, you trust them, and you enjoy hearing them say, whisper, or even shamelessly yell out loud:
“I LOVE YOUUU… AND I WOULD DIE FOR YOUUUU MY DARLING!!!”
Then one day you got hit by a car, or an insane-coward murderer tried to shoot you in the head. You got injured, you’re running out of blood and dying. But all that so-called “significant other” do is keep on yelling at everyone, claiming how much they love you.
“I REALLY DO GODDAMIT!! LOOK AT THIS T-SHIRT I MADE FOR MY LOVED ONE, DOESN’T IT SHOW HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM/HER?”
The T-shirt has a picture of your face on it. But does it stop you from bleeding to death?
Indonesia is now crying, we are being humiliated by a group of irresponsible people (are they locals? our neighbour? is this an international scandal just to throw us back to square one? are they simply a bunch of Satan escaped from the lowest Hell trying to give us more trial to learn?). Wallahualam, God knows best.
After our peaceful, open, and democratic President election (mind you, non-voters, I’m ignoring your existence) last July 8th, a certain party feels like they need to make a scene, a coward scene where they don’t even have the balls to unveil their group’s identity. Travel warnings are being sent here and there (and we sadly can’t give any rational argumentation to convince them that they’re wrong and it is safe here). Sports and musical events and performances are being cancelled (and we can only hold grudges having our money being refunded). –Is any of you laughing out there? If so, maybe you should have your hearts and brains checked, are they functioning or just lumps of useless organs?
God I am so angry that I just want to scream and cry. And so are the rest of Indonesia.
**
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
-Mahatma Gandhi
Reality check. Kalau mau heboh membela negara sambil memproklamirkan rasa cinta kita, mungkin ada baiknya kita bersama-sama introspeksi diri dari hal-hal paling sepele.
Masih buang sampah sembarangan? Lempar-lempar sampah kaya orang udik ke jalanan/selokan?
Masih suka diskriminasi saudara satu negara? Menghina suku, agama, ras orang lain?
Masih gak mau dateng pas Pemilu? Beranggapan gak ada gunanya karena toh hidup di negara kita susah-susah juga (terus kalo gak make hak suara, menurut lo hak suara lo gak bakal disalahgunakan dan makin memperparah kondisi, gitu?)
Masih lebih seneng belanja ke luar negeri yang mengharuskan bayar fiskal yang bikin negara orang makin kaya?
Masih malu traveling ke daerah-daerah di Indonesia dan bangga berlebihan kalo bisa ke luar negeri?
Masih meremehkan hasil karya anak bangsa? Malu baca buku made in Indonesia?
Masih egois (walau manusia memang pada dasarnya egois) dan suka memerkosa, menyiksa, dan menindas hak orang lain? Nyamber-nyamber antrian atau melanggar peraturan?
Masih hobi nyakitin manusia, hewan, tumbuhan, atau ngerusak lingkungan?
Masih suka terlambat dan nunjukin etos kerja yang buruk dan males-malesan?*
*menohok diri sendiri
Kalau sudah punya kemampuan untuk benar-benar membuat negara kita lebih baik (buka lapangan usaha, bikin sekolah untuk anak-anak jalanan, dan lain sebagainya), ya lakukan saja tanpa harus gembar-gembor di dunia maya. Yang parah kan orang-orang yang cuma bisa sinis, skeptis, menganggap usaha orang itu sia-sia, padahal mereka sendiri tidak memberikan kontribusi apa-apa!
It is not what we get. But who we become, what we contribute… that give meaning to our lives.
-Tony Robbins
The best thing about having your birthday in June is, everything new starts after it… New energy from summer holiday (but here the mosquitos are being just perfect buzz killer -_-), new term, new academic year, and a new age with new resolutions! And no, I don’t believe in “New Year’s Resolutions”…
Okay, so it’s July already, and yes I’m still waiting for another crucial phase of life to start… But in the meantime, I’ve succeeded to use time productively. And by “productive”, I mean focusing on the 4th quadrant of Covey’s four quadrant matrix. Well, 2nd quadrant as well when sanity is kindly hitting me.
Before things from quadrant 1 start to torture, quadrant 3 start to become annoyingly distracting, quadrant 2 start to feel like heavy duty, and quadrant 4 become overly precious, I guess it is best to just enjoy this temporary extended leisure time.
So first things first! Have fun and enjoy doing stuff in quadrant 2 peacefully and quadrant 4 guiltlessly.
And I proudly introduce to you, the new blog theme & header… with an updated “About the blog“! *wink
Because I heard that they were different.
Craving for more porn? Just google “PETA” and enjoy yourselves!
*People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
Almost two years have passed, and still, this serial is number 1 in my heart. Well, it’s practically the only TV series I really watch, but anyways…
This episode easily became my new favourite, it is just too funny for words!
The horror in her eyes at 0:50… PRICELESS!
I’ve finally found some time to play with Photoshop again after so long (oh how I miss you… *SMOOCH*!!).. And I stumbled upon this really interesting website that tutors us how to edit normal pictures into vintage/lomo-esque style.
Fake, but it does work like a charm… don’t you think?
I always loved this one, but the mood is just not bold enough… I think the shades-contrast-tone helped make the photo much more dramatic.
Incheon International Airport, South Korea. I just wanted to see how it looked like in black and white.. And I love it!
A cute couple hugging each other tightly at Nami Island (it was -15 degree Celsius after all!).
A bit off focus, and I totally went mad with the sharpness.. but why don’t I care? hehehe
**
Ahhh… I told you I LOVE June… In fact, I believe everybody does! (admit it now, people… =D)
I can’t believe it’s ending already in 24 hours time! Aaaaaa…. Bring me back my June!!!
PS: Please be decent and add this link if you want to copy the photos elsewhere. Thanks!
A true friend to me is…
Someone who tries to respect my feelings even when they don’t understand.
Someone who listens and keeps my stories only for themselves.
Someone who offers to have a cup of tea without me asking, just because they sense that I am not okay.
Someone who trusts and shares to me as much as I do in return.
Someone who quotes my words and make me feel important to their lives.
Someone who doesn’t need to push me to tell them my problems because I will come to them eventually when I want to.
Someone who empathizes with actions. And words only if necessary.
Someone who knows how to deal with those who have treated me wrong without me telling them what to do.
And most importantly…
Someone to whom I can give these words, not because they make a good present, but because I mean every word, from my deepest heart.
**
This is a birthday gift for a very special friend of mine, they say that it is impossible to find real friends in worklife, but we have proved them wrong…
Or maybe we are simply the exception =)
Happy birthday, Cel… What would I do without you?
And to all my dearest, sincerest friends… I love you and I’m so lucky to have you! ^^
Only the present has power over our lives.
*
Never stop having doubts. If you ever do,it will be because you’ve stopped moving forward. On the other hand, you must be careful never to allow doubt to paralyze you. Always take the decisions you need to take, even if you’re not sure you’re doing the right thing. You’ll never go wrong if, when you make a decision, you keep in mind: “the Devil is in the detail.” Remember that proverb and you’ll always be able to turn a wrong decision into a right one.
**
I hate to say this, but reading Brida by Paulo Coelho was such a torture to me. I was beating myself up for not being able to finish The Valkyries before (trust me, it was even more painful), and practically finish this book only for my personal achievement, not by any pleasure whatsoever. Finishing it 5 days over the due date: my birthday, I am a bit disappointed (with my tardiness) yet so relieved that it’s finally over.
Maybe there was just no connection between me and Brida, maybe she just wasn’t human and relatable enough for me, but one thing for sure, this book (as all Coelho’s books) contains so many wonderful and useful quotes. If not for today, we can always keep them for the future…
***
Nothing will behave in the logical way you have come to expect. You will understand things only with your heart, and that can be a little frightening.
Yes it is frightening indeed, especially when you’re practically right-brain-dead.
*
Play your part and don’t worry about what others do. Believe that God also speaks to them, and that they are as engaged as you are in discovering the meaning of life.
So just QUIT sticking your noses up other people’s lives & business while yours is a mess itself! (yes, I’m talking to me… and maybe you)
*
“He doesn’t have the point of light above his left shoulder” he argued, “you told me that yourself”. But she didn’t care. Before she finally meet her Soul Mate, she wanted to know other men, to experience the world.
High five, Wicca!
*
A present from me to you. That is one of the eleven secret temples of the tradition of the moon. A gift of love & gratitude for the fact that you exist and because I have waited so long to find you.
Okay, this is just too sweet even I cried.
*
She had known love before, but until that night love had also meant fear.
Tell me about it!
*
I felt really useful and started telling him everything I knew, feeling that the many years I’d spent in the region at last had some meaning. That man sitting on the steps made me understand that I was important to the world and to the history of my country. I felt necessary, and that’s the best feeling a human being can have.
I couldn’t agree more.
*
Finding one important thing in your life doesn’t mean you have to give up all the other important things.
*coughing and leering at my best buddies*
*
172 Being human means having doubts and yet still continuing on your path.
175 Witches were, above all else, women.
176 She didn’t need to neglect her beauty in order to prove that she was also intelligent and capable.
183 Remember, the first road to God is prayer, the second is joy.
203
Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.”
“How will I know which is which?”
“By the taste. You can only know a good wine if you have first tasted a bad one.”
209
“That is what the forest taught me. That you will never be mine, and that is why I will never lose you. You were my hope during my days of loneliness, my anxiety during moments of doubt, my certainty during moments of faith.
210
“I will always remember you, and you will remember me, just as we will remember the evening, the rain on the windows, and all the things we’ll always have because we cannot possess them.”
***
I definitely need a long break from his works for now.
With no intentions of underestimating the profession of doctors (particularly in Indonesia), I would like to share a bit of my experience which leads me to this gratitude that I failed the National Test (SPMB) for Unpad Med School back in 2003 (and I never even wanted to move to Bandung!) and UI School of Dentistry in 2004 (and I never even wanted to be a dentist!) — clearly I didn’t know what I really want back then.
Maybe God is finally showing the answers to my questions back then: WHY did I fail to escape this mad scientist world? After being such a good and nice and religious girl all this time… Why, God? Whyyyy?
Well, to answer questions with questions: why settle being a doctor when you’re capable of something “better”? 
Evidences:
SCENE 1
I caught the most unimportant yet most irritating disease ever: INFLUENZA. And no I’m not being a drama queen, but when you can’t breathe for weeks and your head is all heavy while you must keep working 24/7, you don’t have many options but to visit your nearest doctor. Even if he’s young, just graduated, and sees you as one of his experimental rabbits.
Doctor: “If this condition persists, you may want to have your blood checked.”
Me : *shrieks* “Is it really that bad, Doc?”
Doctor: “We can’t tell yet, but if the level of your eosinophil increases, then we’ll know that there must be an infection.”
Me: (excited because the word “eosinophil” totally rang a bell from years of studying Physiology + Histology) “Oh, it’s my white blood cells, isn’t it?”
Doctor: … (thinks for a second) “Oh no, it’s not…”
Me: huh? *frowning, starting to doubt the competency of this dude* “What is it then?”
Doctor: “It’s some tissue, that can indicate whether you are infected by bacteria…blablabla….” *smiles convincingly*
Me (monologues inside my head): Oh my, WHERE ON EARTH DID HE GO TO SCHOOL?
*
SCENE 2
Being a female, society has obliged me to at least care about looks and beauty. So when my zits went out of control, I just had to try this dermatologist my friend suggested. He looked old, anxious, very restless… and reckless.
Doctor: “Oh sweet Lord, look at that!”
Me: “err.. yes, look at me” (surprised by the over-enthusiasm he showed)
Doctor: “What have you been eating? Are you taking any vitamins??”
Me: “Well, there is this supplement I’m taking, but it should be reducing skin problems really…”
Doctor: “What is it? What is it? Let me see…”
Me: (hands over my Primrose Herbals)
Doctor: “OH NOOO! You shouldn’t be consuming this, it contains flavonoids and all…”
Me: “What’s wrong with that?” (recalling that flavonoid is one of the chemicals I studied for my thesis and as far as I read, it acts as antioxidant, anti-cancer, and even anti-acne)
Doctor: “It will worsen your acne!”
Me: “Really? Aren’t those chemicals supposed to be good for our body?”
Doctor: ”IT IS NOT GOOD FOR YOUR SKIN! STOP CONSUMING ALL THESE USELESS SUPPLEMENTS IF YOU WANT TO HAVE CLEAR SKINNN!”
Me (shocked): “Okay, okay! ….Geez!”
Some mental institution must be missing one of their patients.
*
It kinda tickled me though. At times like that, it does seem obvious that KNOWLEDGE DOESN’T MAKE MONEY. That’s perhaps the reason why some people see academicians as “unsuccessful”. That earning high degrees and doing a bunch of researches or becoming a scientist means nothing — if not embarrassing — to most people. When the parameter is money, then sadly, it does make sense. After all, we live in this cruel world to survive. And to survive, owning enough (or plenty) money is fundamental.
I have met many who prioritize career and money, even if that means putting aside the other life aspects (in this case I learned from one of my students’ parent).
Her: “I don’t want my child to study too hard. My classmates back in highschool (she went to the best highschool in Jakarta)… I can finger-count those who succeeded!”
Us (me & partner): “Oh really?”
Her: “Yeah, the rest only became… you know… academicians…”
Me: *feeling somewhat attacked & offended
Her: “My cousin is the worst case… He is super smart, but he can’t work with people. Do you know what he does now? He sells these hiking equipments because hiking is his hobby! I mean, can you believe it?!”
Me: *Yikes.. strike two! (this time not for me though)
Her: “That is why, I realized that life skill is more important than knowledge… Of course academics is important for cognition, reasoning and all… But it’s not the only thing we need to succeed.”
It was great to finally meet a sane and smart parent. She knows exactly what she’s doing, she knows exactly what she’s saying. Because later on she adds:
Her: “I understand that my children need extra attention from me (she came that day because her daughter got into trouble at school). No matter how much her Dad helps, in the end as the mother I end up taking care of every little things. The only solution would be me stop working, wouldn’t it? *laughs*
Us: *laughs politely, can’t wait to hear more
Her: But you know, we have to make choices in life. And I can’t just leave my business I have worked on for years, can I?”
Well there is the answer, smart lady.
It is your choice to put career and money above your family. It is your classmates’ choice to get high educations and become academicians. It is your cousin’s choice to convert his hobby into a job. And referring to previous stories, it is also those doctors’ choice to earn as much money for a living, even if it takes some lying and fooling people around (and our choice to actually pay them to fool us!).
Who are we to say which is successful, which is not? We all have our own values, perspectives, and life missions, don’t we?
And when we speak about thinking “out of the box”, whose and which box are we referring to?
Who are we to say that something is entirely right or wrong?
Even a dead clock will be right twice a day.
*
(I know that I’m still green and barely know anything… But hey, even I can’t be completely wrong 
)
