I read this article a long time ago and it stabbed me quite nicely. I suppose this is old stuff and you can find it anywhere on the internet, but what’s wrong with spreading inspirations, so here I go making another copy of it (i hope it’s not illegal :P)

**

ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?
by Mary Sullivan - used with her expressed permission.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her.  She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up.  She was tired of fighting and struggling.  It seemed as if as soon as one problem was solved a new one arose.  Her mother took her to the kitchen.

The mother filled three pots with water.

In the first, she placed carrots.
In the second she placed eggs.
And the last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil without saying a word.  About twenty minutes later, she turned off the burners.

***

source: here

You, you know how to get me so low
My heart had a crash when we spoke
I can’t fix what you broke
You, you always have a reason
Again & again this feelin’
Why do I give in?
& I always was, always was one for crying
I always was one for tears

[CHORUS]
The sun’s getting cold, It’s snowing
Looks like an Early Winter for us
Looks like an Early Winter for us
An Early Winter
Oh I need you to turn me over

It’s sad the map of the world is on you
The moon gravitates around you
The seasons escape you
& I always was, always was one for crying
I always was one for tears
No, I never was, never was one for lying
You lied to me all of these years

[CHORUS]
The sun’s getting cold, It’s snowing
Looks like an Early Winter for us
Looks like an Early Winter for us
An Early Winter
Oh I need you to turn me over

The sun’s getting cold, It’s snowing
Looks like an Early Winter for us
Looks like an Early Winter for us
An Early Winter
Oh I need you to turn me over

Why?
Why do you act so stupid?
Why?
You know that I’m always right

[CHORUS]
The sun’s getting cold, It’s snowing
Looks like an Early Winter for us
Looks like an Early Winter for us
An Early Winter
Oh I need you to turn me over

It looks like an Early Winter for us
It hurts & I can’t remember sunlight
An Early Winter for us
The leaves are changing colour for us
& it gets too much, yeah it gets so much
Starting over & over & over again
& it gets too much, yeah it gets so much
Starting over & over & over again
& it gets too much, yeah it gets so much
It looks like an Early Winter for us

**

The song was written by two of the most outstanding musicians in the world: Gwen Stefani & Tim Rice-Oxley - who happen to be the top 2 people I’d die to meet. I can’t believe how long it took me to notice this video’s existence! The video is downright amazing, Gwen looks morbidly beautiful, and the dark and gloomy aura of the song was perfectly delivered. The only thing I hate about this video is the lack of Tim’s presence. Where is he? I have always pictured this video with Tim playing his piano while Gwen sings..

Seriously, two of your favorite-est musicians (from two separate countries & genres) working together isn’t something that would happen casually everyday and it is very disappointing that Tim doesn’t appear in the video.. *sobs*

I don’t wanna be adored
Don’t wanna be first in line
Or make myself heard
I’d like to bring a little light
To shine a light on your life
To make you feel loved

No, don’t wanna be the only one you know
I wanna be the place you call home

I lay myself down
To make it so, but you don’t want to know
I give much more
Than I’d ever ask for

Will you see me in the end?
Or is it just a waste of time
Trying to be your friend?
Just shine, shine, shine
Shine a little light
Shine a light on my life
And warm me up again

Fool, I wonder if you know yourself at all
You know that it could be so simple

I lay myself down
To make it so, but you don’t want to know
You take much more
Than I’d ever ask for

Say a word or two to brighten my day
Do you think that you could see your way

To lay yourself down
And make it so, but you don’t want to know
You take much more
Than I’d ever ask for

Keane - Hamburg Song

***

“I hate it when people refuse to acknowledge their own feelings and reactions to something, because they see it as being a weakness to say that they’re scared, or upset about something, or whatever.”

*

“It can happen to anyone, people judge you too quickly rather than actually bothering to find out what’s below the surface.”

*

“I like trying to write about confusion and grey areas because life is not normally very clear-cut and simple, especially when it comes to the way people interact.”

*

-: “Tim do you ever worry about people thinking you’re weird?”
+: “Well, you say that Ted, but I don’t think it’s possible to be a good artist without being a bit of a freak. If you were happy and contended and normal then you wouldn’t be able to work.”
 

- Tim Rice-Oxley

***

I have been questioning the monogamy of human being for so long. Not that I’m a victim of a polygamous family or anything, but there are just so many things around me that often leads to that one question:
“Are humans monogamous creatures after all?”

I once took the Animal Behavior class back in university. It’s interesting that knowing animal behavior can actually give better knowledge and understanding about our OWN behavior in everyday life. One of my favorite subjects – obviously - is the mating system.

Apparently male species get more advantages by doing a polygynous mating system, while females get more advantages by practicing polyandry. The thing with these creatures is, they do it all for the sake of wider genetic inheritance or better parental care. The males will have benefits when inseminating multiple females where their genetic codes are more widely inherited, while females will have better care for the children since there is more than 1 male protecting her and her children.

Now what happens in humans is quite different since we are one of those rare creatures who have sex just to gain pleasure. We don’t really think about gene flows or child nursing that much when we decide to have multiple partners or when we decide to cheat. It’s all about pleasure, fun, satisfaction. Having more than one partner will certainly keep us happy, flexible, and unattached wouldn’t it? That way we’ll always be assured that somebody is there for us. If not one, then there’s the other(s).

One of my favorite Indonesian authors, Dewi Lestari, once wrote on her book, Filosofi Kopi.

Jika kau ingin satu, maka jangan ambil dua. Karena satu menggenapkan, tapi dua melenyapkan.

The translation would be something like:

If you want one, then don’t take two. Cos one completes, while two vanishes.

I had always been able to relate to those words. But never as much as now. And now I have gained a new belief about humans who decide to be “faithful” to many partners. Those who feel superior thinking they can conquer more than one while others may have none. Those people, they need to realize that having two doesn’t make them own more. Keeping two is rather a way of undervaluing themselves, hurting others, and leaving themselves with absolute emptiness. Absolutely nothing. And there’s not even genetic benefits nor better child nurturing in this case.

So when you decide to be a so-called alpha male, or wanna be adored as a queen bee, make sure that you’re strong enough to make it on your own. Cos in the end, owning two will do nothing but vanishes everything.

Despite the fact that I got quite terrified reading some parts of it alone, the book is just perfectly written - yet again - by the master of writing, Paulo Coelho. Being an open-minded Muslim (Amen :P), I didn’t see this book as anything misleading or brain washing. The message was simply wider than just those religious point of views.

Compared to the world wide hit, The Alchemist, I find this book a lot more universal and a bit less personal. Another meaningful book full of enlightening answers to philosophical life questions, completed with discussions of one my most recent obsessions, the Law of Attraction (also what the book Quantum Ikhlas is all about).

When we’re interested in something, everything around us appears to refer to it (the mystics call these phenomena “signs”, the sceptics “coincidence”, and psychologist “concentrated focus”..

**

You are what you believe yourself to be. ..Don’t be like those people who believe in “positive thinking” and tell themselves that they’re loved and strong and capable. You don’t need to do that, because you know it already. And when you doubt it - which happens, I think, quite often at this stage of evolution - do as I suggested. Instead of trying to prove that you’re better than you think, just laugh. Laugh at your worries and insecurities. View your anxieties with humour. It will be difficult at first, but you’ll gradually get used to it.

**

After all, what is happiness?
Love, they tell me. But love doesn’t bring and never has brought happiness. On the contrary, it’s a constant state of anxiety, a battlefield, it’s sleepless nights, asking ourselves all the time if we’re doing the right thing. Real love is composed of ecstasy and agony..
I spent a lot of my life looking for happiness; now what I want is joy. Joy is like sex - it begins and ends. I want pleasure. I want to be contended, but happiness? I no longer fall into that trap.

How could something end, when it never even started?

So I thought I was losing something. I thought I was broken and torn apart. I thought something dramatic has yet happened again to me.

But then I looked around. To everything that surrounds.

Have I really lost something? Was there really something that I had that is now gone?

Why does it seem just the same on the surface? Was it something inside my head? My heart? Was it something unreal, something I had only decided to believe in?

That something is now leaving me gently, like a mother letting go of her child only after knowing that they’re ready to. Without any pushing, punishing, hating, regretting, or even hurting.

That something knows that I was once too vulnerable to see. But now I think I am glad that it had ended. Even though it seems like nothing have ever started at the first place.

I need some sleep.
I can’t go on like this.
I try counting sheep,
But there’s one I always miss.

Everyone says I’m getting down too low
Everyone says: “You just gotta let it go”
“You just gotta let it go”
I just gotta let it go

I need some sleep
time to put the old horse down
I’m in too deep
and the wheels keep spinning round

Everyone says I’m getting down too low
Everyone says: “You just gotta let it go”
“You just gotta let it go”
I just gotta let it go

You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go

Eels - I Need Some Sleep

_______________________________________________________

This song really describes my condition at the moment. Not the “i need some sleep” part, cos obviously I’ve been getting excessive sleeping lately. It’s the “letting go” part. I need to start letting go, and try to accept the truth that is happening.

But sometimes I wonder, how do we know that it is time to let go? How do we know when to keep on hoping and believing, putting all our heart into something, believing that somehow the Universe will attract it to us, and we will get what we’ve been wanting after all?

How could we be certain that it’s time to quit believing, stop hoping, and give up our faith when all that we are certain of is.. uncertainty?

I have been witnessing some of the most unbelievable things lately.

People hurting their loved ones, deciding not to be faithful to them anymore.

People not grateful with what they’ve got already, trying to create unnecessary dramas in their lives..

Which makes me wonder, do we really want happily ever afters?

Do we really expect life to go smoothly always, without any fights, tears, pains?
Are sweet lovings and happy endings really all we need?
Aren’t those pains and bleedings what make us human?
Reminding ourselves that we still have emotions, feelings and senses?

And the next time you hope and pray to have a perfect, happy, and peaceful life, ask yourself if that’s really what you want.
Cos in the end, you’ll most likely take them for granted and can’t stop asking for less.

“Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health.”
-Carl Jung

Before departing to Bali, I have already developed this obsession toward Dreamland Beach. The beach is located on the Bukit Peninsula. Ride toward Uluwatu and you’ll get to Garuda Wisnu Kencana statue, which is located near Universitas Udayana. You will need to take rented car to get to Dreamland (or have someone take you there) and can’t depend on public transportations since the location is seriously far far away. Ensure that the vehicle is in good condition as well cos the route is not going to be pretty and smooth.

My disability to recognize routes and directions has forced me to put these links in order to help you understand how to get to Dreamland.

..same bay like bingin and impossibles.Drive the Uluwatu street (Jalan Uluwatu), direction Uluwatu and 3 Km before Uluwatu Beach you’ll have a big entrance, with no guards, on your right, to what was suposed to be a big private condominium made by the sun of former Indonesian President Suharto (he was arrested).You enter there and drive in direction of the sea, in the middle of the road you’ll have to pay some guys to let you in (not much) and then just follow the road signs..

..Riding along Jl. Uluwatu on the Bukit, one passes a grand looking entrance complete with statute. A long 4 lane road takes you down towards the coast, passing construction that seems to be frozen in time..

The beach is where some Indonesian “reality shows” take place (i.e. Joe Millionaire) and is also the location of a certain Indonesian actress’s infamous pictures (i refuse to make any comments on this).

Our plan to stay there from daylight to sunset failed miserably. Arriving already at 6pm, we wouldn’t waste any of our time and immediately took off to feel the soothing white sand and the relaxing waves on our feet (none of us are surfers so just witnessing the amazing view was enough for us).

picture taken by Rio Pranoto

My disappointment for not being able to enjoy Dreamland for hours was paid when we finally get to take amazing shots and created some sand angels

Picture taken by Rio Pranoto

Anyway, here’s some tips for those who plan to go there:

1. Depart from Kuta around 11-12 if you plan to enjoy the sunshine and take pictures of the amazing blue sky (the journey takes about an hour from Kuta)

2. Prepare your vehicle, check the condition and assure it’s in a good condition. The road to the beach is all rocky and crazy. The roads before getting to the rocky road are long and tend to fluctuate (which means containing lots of ups and downs). Don’t let your vehicle overload unless you plan to slip your car all the way backwards and get stranded in the middle of nowhere.

3. After parking your car, walk to the northern side of the beach, cos the pathway is less steep and easier to go through.

4. Leave your high heels at home, at the car, or just throw them away on your way to the beach. There is no possible way you’ll be needing them anyway.

5. Spare a large space of memory on your camera, you don’t wanna miss the tiniest thing that happened in Paradise!

6. Bring extra clothes for change. Duh. (After sunset, clothes changing can be done behind the huge rocks around the beaches, it just doesn’t get any better than that hey :D)

7. If you’re too late and can only catch the sunset, then go for it! The view around 6.30 pm is the best. The clouds are just unbelievably beautiful.

8. Don’t even bother continuing your journey if the sun is all out. There won’t be anything left at the beach but Balinese dogs barking at you to leave immediately.

9. Don’t forget to take pictures on the rocks. That’s one of the most attractive parts of Dreamland.

10. Enjoy!

Omissions are betrayal

That is one of my favorite movie quotes, taken from the movie “Little Black Book“.

When we keep informations from others, from those who are close to us, does it really mean we’re hurting them?

We may not be having any bad intentions anyway when we decide to do so. We may be just having some other plans. Things that some people won’t really bother knowing anyway.

But then again, when we really care about someone and consider them important, why wouldn’t we tell them everything? Why would we hide any truth from them?

The truth may not what they want to hear. But keeping it from them may cause nothing but the worst to the relationship.

And I have never felt more betrayed than this. By someone I thought would never hurt me this way.